More weird German crap, aka things about this country that I will probably never understand (and also pictures of a Venetian mask parade)

“Moin” (a greeting which kind of means good morning but also kind of doesn't)

WHAT DOES IT MEAN. Is it “Good morning”? Is it “Good day”? Is it just “Hi”? Why must it be said twice, and often in a high pitched, girlie voice? (not unlike “Tchuss”, or, possibly my least favorite German thing ever, “Tchusseeeeeeeeeeeeee”. Makes me cringe every time)

The education system

I have tried, oh how I have tried to understand how this system works. I’ve heard about it from my German professor back in the States, from school officials here in Hamburg, from teachers at both of my schools, and from other Germans not involved in the education system, but I still do not get it. As far as I can tell it’s just a complicated bureaucratic numerical mess that my tiny American brain will never be able to comprehend.

Everything about this exchange between myself and a bunch of teachers at my school, about my newly blonde hair (keep in mind that this happened multiple times within a two week period)

Them: “Oh you colored your hair!"

Me"..."

Them:"..."

Me: "Yes I did…"

End of conversation.

(So was that supposed to be a compliment or are they just stating the obvious for shits and giggles?)

The hype behind “fritz-kola” (German soda)

I get that it’s a Hamburg thing and all, but to me it just tastes like Coke. Sorry guys.

My German roommate (a guy in his mid-thirties) that I see maybe twice a month, but whom I have determined is my favorite German thus far

Nov 29 – Roommate: "I have...what do you call when you drink too much?" Me: "A hangover?" Roommate: "Yes. I have a hangover. There was a Christmas party at my law firm and there was free alcohol…"

Dec 15 – (when some guy was supposed to come fix our washer, but never showed up) Roommate, via text: Is the washer fixed? Me: Um, he actually never showed up... Roommate: Shit.

(He put a period and everything. He meant business)

Feb 6 - Roommate: "I killed a spider. I am a hero".

And finally, a small collection of “Shit My Students Say” (Fancy New School Edition, including not just funny shit, but also questions about the U.S. that I would not have even thought to ask)

“Why are the Boston Celtics called the Celtics?”

“What does that symbol on the Freedom Trail mean?”

“Why do you say ‘The Netherlands’ in English? Why does it need a ‘the’?!”

“Do Americans use WhatsApp?” (a texting app that is generally used instead of iMessaging here)

Also an entire class doesn't seem to know what to call me, because they can’t remember/pronounce “Alethea”, and while they find “Stoltzfus” to be hilarious (“Proud foot! Proud foot!"), they have settled on “Miss Boston”, which I am kind of okay with.